animalstalkinginallcaps:

MOTHER OF GOD.

MCCLUSKY, CLEAR THIS AREA. NOBODY TOUCHES ANYTHING UNTIL MY TEAM’S GOT HAIR AND FIBER SAMPLES, FINGERPRINTS, THE WORKS. AND KEEP YOUR MEN OFF THEIR RADIOS. I DON’T WANT ANY PRESS, YOU HEAR ME? NONE.

THEN CALL DETECTIVE SANDERS OVER AT MAJOR CRIMES. TELL HIM WE’RE GOING TO NEED HIM TO CLEAR HIS CASELOAD. WE HAVE A SPECIALIST ON THE LOOSE.

THIS IS THE SECOND VICTIM THIS WEEK. I FEAR THIS IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I CAN’T BLOG WITH THESE DAMNED FINS AND COMPUTERS DON’T WORK UNDERWATER.

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS INSIDE OF ME!

SHAAAAAAAAARK TEEEEEEEEARS.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH, DAMN IT ALL I’M A FRAUD. 

THE COMPOSITION’S SHIT, THE HERMENEUTICAL DIALECTIC IS PROBLEMATIC AT BEST, AND  I HIGHLY DOUBT OMITTING OCHRE WAS THE CORRECT CHOICE VIS A VIS MY INTENDED POLEMIC.

I MIGHT AS WELL BE BOB FUCKING ROSS.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I HARDLY THINK I NEED TO EXPLAIN MY METICULOUSLY CURATED AND PATHOLOGICALLY THOROUGH GILMORE GIRLS FAN WEBSITE TO A PHILISTINE LIKE YOU.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DO YOU EVER WORRY THAT YOUR POLITICAL BELIEFS ARE JUST A PREFABRICATED SHIELD THAT YOU CAN HOLD UP IN FRONT OF YOUR PRIVILEGE TO PROTECT IT FROM THE GRASPING, NEEDY HANDS OF THOSE YOU’VE IGNORED AND MARGINALIZED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? A KIND OF ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL IDEOLOGICAL GRAB BAG THAT ISN’T BASED ON LEGITIMATE DAY-TO-DAY LIVING?

ARE YOU ASKING IF I HAVE A BEVY OF EASILY REGURGITATED SOUNDBITES AND STUMP SPEECHES ABOUT A WIDE VARIETY OF PERCEIVED SOCIAL ILLS THAT I’VE NEITHER EXPERIENCED NOR SERIOUSLY RESEARCHED, THAT GIVE ME A WAY TO PRETEND I CARE ABOUT MAKING THINGS BETTER WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING OR RISK MORE THAN FLEETING MENTAL DISCOMFORT? 

YES.

NO, NOT REALLY.

COOL, ME NEITHER.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHILE I RESPECT YOUR DESIRE TO SIT AT HOME AND WATCH ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF BUFFY, AGAIN, FOR THE FOURTH TIME THIS YEAR, I REALLY WISH YOU’D COME TO THE BAR WITH ME AND MEET SOME HUNKY DUDES.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. A GIANT CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF SATAN’S GRINNING FACE, WITH DOLLAR SIGNS FOR EYEBALLS, BLOCKING OUT THE SUN.

KIM AND KANYE MUST BE EXPECTING A BABY.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I WOULD LET ROBB STARK HAVE THE BUSINESS.

THE GUY FROM HBO’S TELEVISION ADAPTATION OF GEORGE R. R. MARTIN’S BOOK SERIES?

ROBB STARK FROM GAME OF THRONES. YES. HE CAN GET IT. ALL OF IT. ALL THE BUSINESS.

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE FICTIONAL TV CHARACTER ROBB STARK OR THE SCOTTISH ACTOR RICHARD MADDEN THAT PORTRAYS HIM?

I’M TALKING DEPOSITS, WITHDRAWALS … TRANSACTIONS. ANY TRANSACTION HE WANTS. NO RECEIPT.

ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?

WE COULD USE A KING IN THE SOUTH TOO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

SORRY, I WAS A MILLION MILES AWAY. SOMETIMES THE CRASH OF THE WAVES IS ALMOST LIKE A LANGUAGE, DON’T YOU THINK? WHISPERS, FULL OF THE SECRETS OF THE PAST, A CODE TO BE DECIPHERED. LIFE BEGAN IN THE SEA, AFTER ALL. WHAT MYSTERIES STILL LIE IN ITS DEPTHS? WHAT ANCIENT PUZZLES CRY OUT FOR SOLUTIONS, WOULD WE BUT LISTEN? SOMETIMES AT NIGHT I DREAM OF IT. THE OCEAN, I MEAN. DISSOLVING INTO IT, MERGING WITH IT, ABANDONING THIS PRISON OF MEAT AND THE BURDEN OF SINGULAR CONSCIOUSNESS, UNMAKING MY BODY, RETURNING TO THE BOSOM OF THE DEEP.

I’M SORRY. I’VE BEEN DRINKING ALL MORNING. DO I EVEN KNOW YOU?

… WELL, THIS IS AWKWARD NOW.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OHHH! OH! THIS IS MY JAM!

THIS IS MY JAM, Y’ALL!

I’M ADDICTED TO YOU, DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU’RE TOXIC?

AND I LOVE WHAT YOU DO, DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU’RE TOXIC?

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MARLENE.

I … DIDN’T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE.

AFTER YOU LEFT ME AND MOVED OFF TO BERLIN WITH THAT PAINTER I ASSUMED WE’D NEVER MEET AGAIN.

I SPENT SOME MONTHS AT SEA … TRYING TO FORGET YOU. I DABBLED IN OPIATES … 

MY GOD YOU LOOK STUNNING.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WOULD IT KILL THEM TO JUST PUT AN IKEA DOWNTOWN?

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MICHAEL.

FASSBENDER.

NUDE.

SCENES.